A terrible penalty
was there before them. At last I could see them face to face.
lights flash cameras and photographers will not allow me to clearly see their faces. Furthermore, since the incident, my retinas were damaged and it takes focus, especially when there is light. Neither amounted to hear what they said, the rumble with me ever since. As the doctor told me not ever stop listening. But if I talk about, I have no trouble distinguishing the sounds.
remember hearing the explosion and then there was nothing but silence. An eerie silence, as if time had stopped. Would have wanted someone to talk, to tell me what happened. But there was nobody around me, only fragmented bodies, blood and skin on all sides. Spoils of bodies attached to the windows, like butterflies trying to fly away after the lights flickered on the station.
The silence began to break with moans, cries for help and screams. Then I realized I was alive. Felt suffocation and despair, had to get out.
The elderly lady whom I gave my seat in the South Station was now at my side. I knew it was her by the blue green bag, which was now soaked with blood on his lap. For other persons not met. I had never seen in my life and now shared with them the horror.
at that time I could not understand why it was the only one alive. In the hospital said one of the rescuers that the bodies of other people I had served as a barrier against splinters flew everywhere killing and destroying as many people who were in the same carriage as me.
Since then rebuilt in my head every moment of the explosion, everything I did and every one of the mangled bodies I saw that morning, trying to guess which of them saved my life.
After a few days in the hospital, I went home. It was then that I began to have nightmares and see people dressed in black who came, even awake. I should visit a psychiatrist for more than twenty months. He says that I'm recovered, but has not realized that the soul is all that ever will recover completely.
two months ago finally returned to my work. It is no longer the same as before he had, because my concentration has been reduced greatly. I can not move around by myself, and although life has given me a second chance, I frankly do not know what to do with it.
This day I got here brought by the national television channel. No doubt they intend to make me appear for all transmissions and capture my reactions to these four individuals who are currently judging.
But contrary to what I thought, do not be hate, pain and even restore life not had before. Although sometimes I miss, I think there is no way back. Then I analyze how much a victim in all this chaos. I think the closeness that they must have made the journey to these four for having to kill so many and be heard. What is a man when he runs out of options and despair increases swollen from hunger, injustice, pain and anger? What have I done to make their lives worthwhile not live it? This morning a journalist asked me how I felt towards those involved. I told her that a terrible punishment.
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